36 Weeks (+1 day)

Once again, I failed to update on the actual day. No really good reason; I just forgot!

How far along? 36 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Up 21 lbs, which is actually down from last week, I think.
Maternity clothes? Yes, and even some of my maternity tops are getting tight.
Stretch marks? Yup, and they appear to be holding steady.
Sleep: After a wonderfully restful weekend, I've been having some trouble sleeping again. I'm also getting sleepy again after having several days of energy.
Best moment this week: Seeing everyone at church on Sunday (my first time back since bed rest) and having the manager at Red Robin gush over me when we went in, telling me how beautiful I am, etc. Even if she was just being nice or trying to get a good review, it made me happy.
Movement: He's scared me a few days by not moving much, but he still moves (i.e. squirms) some every day.
Food cravings: Carbs. And fruit.
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: Definitely a LOT of pressure and BH contractions. I'll find out tomorrow (hopefully) if I've made any more progress or if my cervix has remained stable.
Belly Button in or out? In, but very shallow and stretched out.
What I miss: Being able to walk/get up/sit/roll over/stand without pain.
What I am looking forward to: My doctor's appointment tomorrow, C picking up the glider tomorrow (it finally came in today), and being full term!
Weekly Wisdom: If it doesn't get done, it probably wasn't that important.
Milestones: I don't know if it actually is anything, but 36 weeks just feels like a milestone in and of itself.

35 Weeks

How far along? 35 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: I didn't weigh this morning, but at my appointment last Wednesday, I think I was up 18 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Yup, and I'm back in normal maternity clothes today because I'm off bed rest!!!
Stretch marks? Yes, and they are weird looking. The ones above my belly button are very vivid and intertwined, and the ones below my belly button go around and up my sides.
Sleep: I seem to sleep poorly every other night and sleep fine the rest. However, if I sleep poorly, I can make up for it with naps!
Best moment this week: Getting a good report from the doctor (I never updated after that, apparently), getting off bed rest today, and choosing a pediatrician tonight!
Movement: Yup, but it's mostly just squirms and random pressure. He's definitely less active than before.
Food cravings: My appetite has been increasing, and I'm eating a lot of cookies, which probably isn't good.
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: My cervix is holding steady as of my last appointment. There's still definite pressure, and it still makes me nervous from time to time, but I'm feeling good overall.
Belly Button in or out? In, but just barely.
What I miss: Feeling Stretch being more active. Now it's just sort of uncomfortable when he's moving around.
What I am looking forward to: Being full-term so I can be wholly excited about signs of labor and cervical changes. Also, the glider should be coming in this week, which means the nursery will be basically complete.
Weekly Wisdom: Write things down. It's easy to lose track of to-dos and shopping lists when you have more important things on your mind.
Milestones: 35/35 today! Off bed rest!

34 Weeks

How far along? 34 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Up 17 lbs, I think.
Maternity clothes? Yes, but I've still been living in just yoga pants and maternity shirts.
Stretch marks? Possibly some new ones. There are four main clusters.
Sleep: Eh. It varies. Sometimes I sleep with no problems; other nights, I only sleep 4 hours.
Best moment this week: Having my parents come up for the weekend. They cleaned our entire house today, and yesterday my mom washed all of the baby linens and clothes, and we put everything away. Plus, they bought a lot of the final purchases, so we're almost set!
Movement: Yes, but it's unreliable. My mom has been trying to feel him all weekend, but he won't cooperate.
Food cravings: Nothing in particular.
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: I go back for another cervical check on Wednesday, so I'll know more then. However, I definitely overdid it yesterday (just sitting up for long periods of time), and I was up last night with back pain that wrapped around to abdominal cramps, so I was debating calling the doctor. Thankfully things were better this morning.
Belly Button in or out? In, but very shallow and stretched out.
What I miss: Being able to do... anything.
What I am looking forward to: My 34 week appointment on Wednesday.
Weekly Wisdom: Accept help when it's offered, even if it makes you feel like a bum.
Milestones: Getting all the baby linens and clothes washed and ready for Stretch's arrival. Also, if Stretch was born today, he'd be late preterm.

Missed Moments

I knew going into it that this would likely be my hardest weekend of bed rest. There was so much planned for these days, and I can't do any of it. It was supposed to be my last weekend of my internship, and I was supposed to preach. However, Donald is probably preaching as I type. He called last night right after I fell asleep, which kept me up for an additional half hour because I was worried I had forgotten something I was supposed to have done. They were even going to have a reception for me between services, but that's obviously not happening. Even though I'll be going back to that church, potentially as our church, it's hard to miss these days.

After the second service, we were supposed to race off to our childbirth class, the one I scrambled to get in after screwing up the ones at the hospital. I had to email the leader last week to cancel, and thankfully she isn't charging anything since it's due to medical necessity. However, I'm back to not having a childbirth class, which means it's even more important for me to read and teach C myself. Plus, I'm not sure if I'll be able to get a tour of the birth center because I don't know for sure when I'll be off bed rest. So that combines disappointment with stress.

The biggest one is my parents being in town. They had planned this visit for a while so that they would be able to come see me preach and then help get things ready for baby. Instead, they are now doing everything without me. Yesterday, they took my list and went shopping, purchasing almost all of the final must-have items for Stretch. While I greatly appreciate their doing this, especially since they wouldn't let us pay for all of it, I hate that I had to miss out on that time of shopping with them. That excitement. Today, Mom's going to wash all the baby gear and clothes that need it, something else I was supposed to do. This also brings to mind all the other things I may not get to do: finish the nursery, freeze meals in advance, nest in general. Plus, since my parents are keeping busy doing things for me, I don't get to spend as much time with them, and it's a short visit as it is.

The whole situation depresses me. However, I've been proud of my ability to keep things in perspective. I haven't cried once about being on bed rest because rationally I know it's for a good cause. I'm trying to keep positive, and it seems to be working. Because even though I'm missing out on all these things I was supposed to do, I'm doing exactly what I should be doing: keeping Stretch an inside baby until he's ready.

Drowning in Love

Ever since a prayer request went out for me last Friday, I've been overwhelmed with cards, phone calls, emails, and offers. Everyone wants to bring us a meal, and I am having a hard time accepting any of the offers. It began with Nell, our neighbor across the street and a member of the church. She would hear nothing of my protestations and insisted on bringing over food, so she came over on Saturday. Meanwhile, she spoke to two of our other neighbors, one of whom dropped by on Sunday to visit and see if there's anything we need and the other will apparently be calling to find out when she can bring over a meal. I already told the church secretary that I didn't want her to send out a request for meals, but the offers came rolling in anyway. When I told the children's council that my parents will be coming to visit as a way to refuse the offer, they volunteered to bring meals for after they leave. One woman left a message on my cell phone offering to bring a meal, coffee, dessert, anything. Others have sent cards asking me to call if we need anything. With the exception of Nell, I've turned them all down so far. Until today. Today, one of the women who'd sent a card called and asked if she could bring me Chick-fil-A and visit with me for lunch. I decided to accept, and we ended up talking for 2 hours, which was a great way to spend the afternoon. I think I'm much more agreeable to having people bring lunch because it's not encroaching on my time with C, plus it's less likely that I'll end up with food we don't eat (like the chicken salad and potato salad Nell brought, which I feel horrible about not eating, but I just can't deal with mayonnaise). I am so grateful for the prayers and support, but I feel so guilty accepting anything. Who am I that these people would bring food? There are people so much worse off than me! I don't feel that being on bed rest makes me deserving. And yet, I know that that's not the point. These people are in ministry to me, and by declining their offers, I'm not allowing them to serve. The whole thing just makes me uncomfortable.

One gesture of love absolutely blew me away, though. My father's sister always sends cards for birthdays, etc. and has gone out of her way to connect with me about church and seminary (she gives money to a scholarship fund that supports several of my classmates). Out of the blue, I received an email this morning informing me that she sent a $25 Amazon gift card with the sweetest note about how she wants me to get some new reading material while I'm on bed rest. She doesn't have a lot of extra money, so that makes it mean even more.

I know I'm so blessed to have a family and church community that cares so much about me. I just wish I could get more comfortable with accepting their help.

33 Weeks

How far along? 33 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Up 15 lbs still.
Maternity clothes? Yes, but I've been living in yoga pants and maternity shirts while on bed rest.
Stretch marks? No new ones from last week, but the existing ones seem more apparent.
Sleep: I'm sleeping OK, but if I need a nap, it's not like I have anywhere to be...
Best moment this week: The outpouring of support from our neighbors and church. I've never received so many (quite insistent) offers to provide meals, etc.
Movement: Yup, but it's different than before. Now it's mostly just pressure as he twists around and stretches. I have finally decided that the little rhythmic pulses in my lower abdomen must be hiccups.
Food cravings: Still craving sweets.
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: I feel pressure (like he's pushing down) any time I sit up too long, so I'm trying to be good on my bed rest restrictions. I got really nervous last night because I wasn't feeling well and was having a lot of pressure. I just feel like I don't know what's real labor, what's false labor, and what's just normal pregnancy discomfort.
Belly Button in or out? In, but very shallow.
What I miss: Going outside, even when it's 100+ degrees. Sitting up and walking around without worry.
What I am looking forward to: My parents coming up this weekend, even though it won't be like we planned. Also, my 34 week appointment to see what's going on down there.
Weekly Wisdom: Try to have a positive attitude, no matter what complications arise. It's all for the good of your little one!
Milestones: 50% effaced, -3/-2 station

A picture will have to wait until tomorrow, I think. (Picture taken at 33w1d and posted at 33w2d)

Bed rest

Well, this is my first non-weekly-update post in a long time, and it's not the post I expected to write. However, since I now find myself with all kinds of time on my hands, perhaps I'll finally getting around to writing those other posts I've planned for all these weeks. Anyway, to the subject at hand:

As I briefly explained on Monday in my 32 week post, last Wednesday I began having some symptoms of preterm labor, and the internal my OB performed at my appointment revealed some cervical changes and a low baby. I tried to follow doctor's orders about taking it easy, and on Monday I didn't have any issues. Then on Tuesday, I had to run all around for various meetings and errands, and since it was all in another city, an hour away from home, I didn't have any opportunity to lie down and rest. Plus, it was 100+ degrees with the heat index. Needless to say, by that evening, my legs were sore and swollen, and I was experiencing some of the same pressure I did last week, as if Stretch was trying to make his escape. I resolved to take it easy the rest of the week but knew I needed to go into work on Wednesday to let my boss know about everything and prepare for the week's activities. Before I even made it to work the next morning, the pressure was already back. I knew I needed to lie down, but I also needed to talk to my boss. He finally came in and convinced me to cancel that evening's study so that I could rest. I guiltily agreed and spent the rest of Wednesday lying down. The pressure progressed to some cramping and sporadic cervical pain, but it wasn't as bad as last week. On Thursday, I made it in for my final Thursday morning study and promised my boss and the church assistant that I'd rest the rest of the day. I called my doctor's office on my way home to update them on the pressure, and the nurse requested that I come in to be checked again that afternoon.

Thankfully, the same doctor I saw on Monday was available to re-check me, and she said that things were still pretty much stable and my cervix remained closed. However, since I'm 50% effaced, baby's head is at -3/-2 station, and I'm still experiencing a lot of pressure anytime I'm not horizontal, she wants me on modified bed rest until I'm 35 weeks. So that means I'm on bed rest for the next 2.5 weeks, which I'm none too thrilled about, though I'm certainly willing to do whatever it takes to keep him in! I know how blessed I am that it's such a relatively short time. Plus, even if the bed rest didn't work, he's still in a pretty good place if he decided to make an early entrance. And I have C's support (more on that in another post), my parents calling constantly to check on me and see if I want them to come up early, and the complete understanding of all those involved in my internship. There's never a good time for bed rest, but I'm in pretty good shape, and for that I'm very thankful.

Since this post has already turned into a novella, I'll wait for another time to post my bed rest plans, goals, and concerns. Until then, I'm just focused on keeping Stretch an inside baby until at least 37 weeks!